Well I'm back. I think. At least for now.

Well I'm back. I think. At least for now.

This post was from January 2012...two and half years ago. But I thought it was appropriate for the start of a new school year. And it's always fun to revisit the past...

Day #62: The backpack part 2

Yes, I'm still talking about the backpack. But this is my last post on it, I swear.

   I decided that the best way to approach the backpack situation was to send my daughter in, armed with her backpack, and see if the teacher decided to call me out on it at the end of the day. I thought about asking if I could bring the backpack, but I feel like since this is a preSCHOOL, I shouldn't have to ask. So I packed up her lunchbox, gloves, extra pair of underwear, and library book and sent her in. At the end of the day, her teacher did call me out. She told me that Savannah did not need to bring a backpack. I asked her where I was supposed to put her gloves, she told me that they teach the kids to put them inside the arms of the coat which I think is stupid. I asked her where I was supposed to put her change of underwear in case of an accident, she told me they have extras at school if that happens (gross, I'd like her to wear her own pair of underwear). I told her that it just makes sense to have a backpack so that at the end of the day(and at the beginning when I'm attempting to get us all out of the door), I'm not holding five school items when I could just put it all into one bag. Unfortunately for her, she made the mistake of telling me, "They just don't need backpacks." Which of course, makes no sense at all. Because they do need them. That's like saying I don't need a purse. Yes, I could hold each item in my hands and stuff them in the sleeves of my coat, but why would I do that when there is something that has been specifically designed to hold my crap?? She then said they don't have room for them and that Savannah's backpack took up HALF of their space designed for lunch boxes. Yes, I'm sure it took up half of the space. So I asked if there was any way they could invest in some hooks for the backpacks, to hang up high so they are not in the way. She looked at me and with some MAJOR attitude said, "Do you want to buy the hooks and hang them up?" To which I said, "I think I just might do that."

   Savannah has only attended this school for a total of two weeks, but in those two weeks I haven't been impressed at all. And I feel like when you pay a monthly tuition, you should be impressed. I don't feel like she has been getting nearly as much out of this school as the one she went to in Virginia. She starts kindergarten in the fall! I want her to be fully prepared and I don't feel that this school is doing that for her, and not just because of the backpack issue.

  Coincidentally, I had been calling around to different schools for Luke for next fall. I had already figured out I didn't want him at this school. I came across one that sounded great and decided to go check it out because registration for next year was already open and filling up fast! I went there and FELL IN LOVE with the director and the school. They seemed more organized, more education-minded, and just nicer. On a whim I asked if they had a spot open for a 4 year old, like right now. She said a spot had just opened that day. Uh huh. Am I taking her out of her other school over a backpack, no. But I know how I am. And every time I walk out of that school holding all of her schoolwork, I'll be thinking, "This could have just gone in a backpack!". But more importantly, this new school leaves no room for doubt and worry that Savannah won't be prepared for kindergarten. I felt confident after speaking to the director (who is also the 4 year old teacher) that Savannah would go into kindergarten with a leg up, and that's really what I want for her.

   Another plus about being the new girl in town- I have no reputation; I have nothing to ruin and nothing to prove. But maybe I'll try not to pick fights at the new school.

   School started two weeks ago for Savannah (now 2^nd grade) and Luke last week (now Kindergarten). I can hardly believe that when I first started blogging they were 1 and 3 years old. Time stood still when they were those ages and of course, it didn't help that Tyson was deployed a big chunk of that time. Days were long, frustrating, and often yielded little joy. I remember feeling like my kids would be at home forever when they were that age. And now, in the blink of an eye (or maybe several blinks because those days were r e a l l y long at times), they are both in school and I'm left at home for hours wondering what the hell I'm supposed to be doing now.

    I listen to young moms (I feel like I can officially not be considered a young mom, now that I'm 30! and now that my baby is almost 5!) talking about how they LOVE being mommies. Staying at home, staring at baby, not sleeping- they were born to do this, to be this. And in a way, I envy that because I didn't have that experience and I didn't feel that way when my kids were really young. I used to feel guilty about that, like something was wrong with me. Maybe I was a bad mom, maybe I was not meant to be a mom, maybe I was lacking some integral “mommy” part. But I have since learned that's not the case at all. It's okay to not LOVE the baby stage of motherhood. It's okay to not enjoy being pregnant, to not feel like you're bonding with your baby when breastfeeding, to not make all homemade organic baby food, to not want to talk/hear about every one's birth experience. If I'm being honest, I can tell you, I didn't enjoy most of those first years. Yes there were incredible moments in that time that I would not trade for all the terrible, trying, and exhausting ones, but overall, I am happy that stage is behind me and I am absolutely loving the ages of my kids right now. From what I have heard from mothers with older children is that not all moms loves every stage of their child's lives...some moms love the baby days, others love the teenage times, and others just want those years in between. And that's okay, you don't have to love every minute of it to be a good mother. Or at least that's what I tell myself.

   To all those mothers who think diapers will never end and sleep will never come. It will. And one day you will sit at your kitchen table and wonder what it is you used to do all those years ago before you had children. You'll wonder what the hell you're supposed to be doing now.

On a completely different note, here are some “mom hacks”- like the “life hacks” that you see all over Pinterest. These are things that I have found that made being a mom a little easier this week:

-Totally saw a more extreme version of this on Pinterest , but I downsized mine. This is more functional and manageable for me and makes snack time much easier. The kids can choose their own snacks, and keeping it stocked is easy because it's a small basket.

 - This is my most favorite family meal right now. Bonus: it's a casserole, it's easy to make, and it's kid friendly. Serve it with a salad and you have a quick weeknight meal!

- I thought this was an amazing and genius list of questions for parents to ask kids after their school day. I find that when I ask “how was your day” I get that answer every parent dreads, “fine”. By asking more specific questions I found out what was really going on at school.

And just because I love to read, here are some of my favorite books from this spring and summer! Spoiler alert: They were ALL easy chick-lit reads...I'll try something a little deeper this fall, now that I have all of this time on my hands.

The Husband's Secret (and every book written by this talented author). Liane Moriarty is one of my favorite authors and I have read every.book. she.has.written. She is witty, funny, and incredibly relatable!

Big Little Lies was a close second.

Where'd you go, Bernadette? This was off beat and quirky and I loved it.

The Girl You Left Behind Another one of my favorite authors. She is a master at weaving modern day and history together to create a story and characters that will suck you in. 

Love The One You're With   Sometimes the haze of the past clouds our memories... this made me fall in love with Tyson all over again by remembering why I fell for him in the first place. Revisiting the past can sometimes be a good thing.